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Enneagram Personality Style #5

Enneagram Personality Style

After taking this test I received these results (it's very accurate):

Type 5 is called The Observer, The Investigator, The Thinker, The Sage. You want to be intelligent, informed, knowledgeable and perceptive. More importantly, you want to be self-sufficient and not have the entanglements of obligation. You see yourself as intellectual, dispassionate and investigative. You would like others to see you as rational, logical and scholarly. Your idealized image is that you are thoughtful and wise. Private and solitary by nature, you like to be invisible until you are ready to reveal yourself. You tend to stay on the sidelines preferring to meet the world with your mind. You prefer to play the role of detached observer or investigator. In general, you see the world as intrusive, overwhelming and chaotic–often demanding too much and giving too little in return. As a result, to manage the fear of not knowing, you conserve your energy and focus your attention on acquiring the information necessary to make sense out of the chaos. Studious and scholarly, you develop expertise in any area that is of interest to you, often in more than one field. You believe that knowledge is power and feel it is imperative that you be as a means of survival. Often scientific, you have unparalleled powers of mental perception due in part to your ability to remain detached and unaffected by your emotions.You have an inquisitive and observant nature with an insatiable appetite for information. You think things through before offering your perceptive insights regarding systems, people or how the world works. Avoiding the glaring light of scrutiny, you seek the safety of autonomy. When you feel that you lack intellect, you become withdrawn, isolated and reclusive. You may feel the need to "prepare yourself" frequently. You see yourself as intense, unexpected, original and different from others. You are private and introspective, although others may think of you as anti-social, secretive, remote, and eccentric. You are not afraid to point out the ‘emperor who has no clothes’ and your wonderful sense of humor is based on postulating the absurd. Rather than the wave crashing on the shore, you have the strength of the undertow and know exactly when to give or withhold your involvement and information to have the greatest impact. Fearing intrusion, you need to keep yourself somewhat hidden and camouflaged. However intellectual you may be, you often feel vulnerable and exposed like an animal without fur. You need time alone to recharge and for others to not place high demands on your time or energy. It is essential for your well being that your mind is clear, your life uncluttered, and that you have the autonomy to control your time. You avoid standing out and/or being misinterpreted. You also avoid pretentious or ostentatious displays. You may find small talk or a brainstorming session at work to be an insufferable waste of time. You fear annihilation, contamination, and being fully embodied – as you feel more comfortable being with your thoughts than in your body. Because you prefer to live a life that isn’t weighed down by attachments – either material or relational – you also avoid surplus of any kind. The one exception might be a library of resources. Your greatest strengths are your clear objectivity, your instinct and your penetrating insight that is unfettered by emotions. You have an innate ability to gather information and create systems to assess and categorize data in a clear and concise manner. Mentally astute, you are able to observe, study and track even the smallest details, often developing expertise in many areas. Underneath your shyness and reserve, you are a kindhearted and giving person. You are also very loyal to and supportive of those you trust. You give honest advice and informative feedback. Your vice is avarice. This can manifest as a greedy hording of yourself, your time, your energy or your resources. Be careful of your tendency to observe the world through a peephole. It can keep you isolated and out of touch with human concerns. Be aware of your tendency to withdraw into your ivory tower of ideas. The bigger picture only comes with interaction. If you avoid it too much, others may start to see you as arrogant and unfeeling. Being dispassionate and ‘cool as a cucumber’ is good in an emergency, but hard on relationships. Your attention goes to observing the world, hiding or withholding to protect yourself and gathering information for the purpose of knowing and understanding. Hesitant and reluctant to engage, you search for factual data, seeking reason, logic and objectivity. Your spiritual path is to reclaim a sense of non-attachment and experience true omniscience– true knowing from a higher source. Spiritual growth will come when you offer freely of yourself to others without fear of incurring obligation and realize that mere information can never be a substitute for true direct knowing. Your map of the world is a mental construct, not the actual territory. For deeper knowing, remember to include your feelings as they yield important information in any equation. As a rule, you believe that there is always more that can be learned, known and understood. It is helpful to recognize when you know enough to make a decision.

I actually learned a bit about myself. This is "dead on balls accurate", in the words of Marisa Tomei.

This is Kind of Funny (to me anyway).

Tonight at work, in the midst of the worst rush I'd experienced in months, a girl walked in.

My first thought was,


"                         ."

You probably noticed there's nothing there. That's because there isn't, because I didn't have a thought. I couldn't think. She was way too hot. The kind of hot that pisses you off because you can never have it. 

I would like to take this time to express my deep hatred for Moe's at this point because of my appearance in these situations. Not only am I gross, and smell like Mexican food, but I'm tired and my patience with people has all but gone from me in the least.

So, as I was saying: she was way too hot.

She leaned against the glass and folded her arms.
I said nothing.
Tim, my manager, walked up to take 'cold' and as I looked at him, he stared back at me with a typical "Yeahp" look all those who know him are quick to recognize. Typical Tim.
Right in front of this girl, I turned to Tim, pointed at her and said, "Does she even exist, right now?"
He laughed.
I took her order.
She had an accent; Hungarian or something or other...

Listen to me. This girl was so stinking beautiful I couldn't fathom reality for the next ten minutes. I mean an arm on the five finger scale. That is, how many fingers I would be willing to cut off if God let me hit that.
I went to the back of the store and stood in silence.
She was so drop dead gorgeous that I actually pondered and questioned my life.

Tim then walked back and said, "You know... she'll probably never even come in here again. She's probably on her way back to Hungaria or some shit right now."

I laughed. Hungaria. *sigh*

She looked just like this, no joke:

Charleston, South Carolina.

It is 11:11AM. I'm sitting in a StarBucks on College of Charleston's campus in South Carolina.

I like to travel, big deal, wanna fight about it? 

I've found myself a cozy corner with a window directly facing me, giving me apt opportunity to "people watch". A college student next to me, waiting for his beverage, just sang aloud, "It's going down like the Catalina Wine Mixer," and immediately left. Douche-bag. 

I'm just playing; he was probably a relatively nice individual, but my God looks can be deceiving. 

A really uppity jazz song is...filling the air right now, among the chatter of college kids and a few professors, I'm assuming professors. 

College kids think they know everything, huh. 

"Just talk about life, talk about your life, Zach; that's what the people want to hear."

A masked man rescues a woman in distress from being had by two bad cops. 

Masked Man: "Are you alright my dear?" he says, extending a chivalrous hand downward to assist her up from the cobble-stone back alley way. 

Woman: "Who are you?"

Masked Man: "Who is a function of what. And what I am is a man in a mask. I'm not remarking on your ability of observation, of course, I'm merely remarking on the paradox of asking a masked man who he is." 

Woman: "Oh, right." 

Speaking of women, one woman just rode by on a bicycle wearing a very large sun hat. Because of this I've made an observation on my generation: Had she been a young woman, I mean, had she been a little girl, the very large hat would have been cute, and the bike - adorable; perhaps she retained the idea from her mother or her grandmother or her great-grandmother and so forth. Likewise, had she been an older woman, which she was, one cannot help to think "more power to her," or her, rather, give off an original aura or "ism" about her - a care-free, vitality enthralled, fun-loving, original woman. 

But, had the woman been of age, by "Y-generation's" standards, my generation, she'd look like a trend-follower. The kind of type-cast, orthodox, poster child stores such as Urban Outfitters and American Apparel try to "poon" over. 

(Before I continue, "poon" is a word my friends and I use to describe the type of people who conventionally adhere to what such stores convince these people to look like, turning them into walking-bilboard, douche-beggery "poons". Yeah?)

That being said, I find it very hard to be original, if set next to these standards. And, in turn, making those original individuals seem that much more original. And I don't mean deviant either, though by any sociologist's educated, professional viewpoint, anything straying from the norm is considered deviant, whether bad or not. 

I just mean, as simply as I can, of their own person, or character. The kind that, if one were looking at would say, "S/He would." 

I suppose this is how I've managed to... (the same old lady just rode by on her bicycle, the one with the very large sun hat - it is 11:50AM) ...managed to kill an hour or so by merely observing my surroundings. Speaking of observing my surroundings, the song "Sea Legs" by The Shins just came on in StarGay (that's what I call StarBucks, that or GayBucks, either one is mildly humorous to the individual). "Sea Legs" is my favorite song by The Shins. Fun fact. 

I have accumulated a large group of youngsters around me - 11:53AM; by youngsters I mean kids my age. Granted, I address my parents as "Kids". I am uncomfortable. 

I recently... (that is a very busty woman - 11:58AM) ...recently witnessed just how sheltered some people really are, and not prude sheltered, I mean life sheltered. Some people have never had to do anything, anything, themselves and thus have not been very perceptive to their surroundings. It's a bad form of tunnel-vision, these people have. Even those kinds of book-smart people that have absolutely zero common sense. Those people who have no idea how real life works. Those people make me feel really smart. 

(I just saw an original person - 12:04PM)  

-Intermission-

I took a walk around the "city". It is 1:50PM. 

Avarice is my only vice. I want things, what can I say? 

Everyone has a vice. Some of those vices are really bad. And some of those vices act as chicken soup for the soul sometimes. After thinking it over, I have come to the conclusion that I have a healthy vice half of the time - in the sense that, my vice plays as a goal getter. What I should be weary of is once I've obtained my vice, not to have avarice then. 

I just realized what Charleston, South Carolina needs. (1:59PM) Culture. There's no atmosphere here. Well, okay, there's atmosphere, but it's more of a... mature high-school-ish atmosphere - meaning, and I'm guessing, that people sort of mind their own fucking business. Pardon. As much as I dislike Jacksonville, where I live - the largest city in the U.S., it has culture. A lot of drunk people, but culture. I just realized something else...

I could steal the shit out of this city. There is literally nothing going on on these street corners. I could move up with a few artist-friends and we could con this city blind. 

(2:09PM - a group of three just walked by whom looked like American Apparel and Urban Outfitters just had a lovechild.) 

I'm mean... I should stop for now. Maybe I'm restless. 

I'm going to go steal something. 

 -Intermission-

(3:30PM - I just stole something.Consider yourself posted, Blog.)

Discrepancy in Sociology Class

Ongoing tension between the students and the professor in a Sociology class I took resulted in a stand, "there's the line - I've drawn it - pick your side" scenario and I found this particular post in our class's online forum interesting enough to post publicly. For a time, the professor would badger on about certain things he seemed to have strong opinion about, and when presented with an argument or an opposing question he would never prove his point. This consistency made me question how viable his "expertise" really was, naturally. I mean, you really had to hear this guy talk.
While it doesn't matter whose side I'm on, it was very refreshing to see our professor actually stick up for himself. Proving a stronger point in fewer words.

Class interested me after that.

What do you think?:

 Author: Michael L Ewing Posted on: 7-27-10
"choose for yourself.
Our sociology class is in a state of 'becoming' a clear reflection of the pessimistic world around us, that we dont have to embrace. You dont think so, take a look. Anyone but me get tired of reading your articles and seeing the next unmotivating shift in the mankind movement? This is not an aim at the professor, its the mentality of what we're fed in class; a microscopic pessimistic way to look at the face of our own future and think thats the currents of our hope for tomorrow. Stand up for yourself! I read your articles: Gunman kills 17, Mel Gibson controversy, Racism, national corruption, even animals are people too! I listened in class with you: Beaten wives, racial oppression, single moms, homosexual casuality, liberalis, 196,000 years of chaotic disorder. So hopeful?!? Do we not have a backbone, should we just fall to the currents of our generation and die with them downstream where they are going?

hundreds of years ago our country had a birth that caught the eyes of its sibling nations all over the world, because we stood up as people in a voice making a declaration that we were going to stand for something that hadn't been stood for like it. Not that we were perfection, because even at the time the women who birthed our forefathers had minimal 'equal' rights, and we massacred indians whose land it was, but our vision was a becoming one. Without a vision people perish. Our globe knew really well prior to our declaration the taste of rising and falling eras, post-biblical and midevil, nation standing with nation, genocide, Industrialization growth, people advanced, kings rose.. Kings fell. Power shifts, weakness becomes strength, and so on, like individuals. every individual. A season to rise, a season to fall. A season of noise, a season of peace. A time for all things. And so goes the cyclic story of nations, but 'people' make up nations.

And in that great opportunity to have a story to live for, we as a people put our foot forward. In Birmingham, we put our foot forward against what we, black and white alike now, knew to be against our moral convictions to the point of death if need be. At Washingtons crossing in the great keystone state of Pennsylvania, high on the hill, our forces spotted the british coming and we opposed it, we stood for hope in the face of a heavy opposition but victory we sought, and we found so that we could hold on to the vision passed to us. We have and are a part of a bigger legacy. A former mentor of mine said its necessary not to trade in the things you want at the moment, for what you want in the end. Sacrifice and vision have always been an element that spilled the blood for the freedom we have, because it always take blood to be shed to be given certain inheritable freedoms.

I sit in class quiet, as you are, listening to the forced washing of hopelessness. I refuse it. Sure my spirit is shot at with the darts of opposition, because i know statistically that i am a part of some of those statistics, and that the same evils that make those statistics alive many of the people in class are desiring to get back to when we are finished. Dont believe the misconception that i am against the people who partake, but the evil itself: The love for drunkenness more then having a vision, the love for immorality more than sacrifice, the love for the slavery we put ourselves into like chaotic relationships and violence and oppression, more then we love freedom. Using our mouths for grave digging and not life building. Since when is homosexuality natural if we all came from a mother and father. Since when did we come from monkeys, if we have never found a skeleton of a half human half creature.

Don't be dilted with falsity, stand up for truth and purpose. You are not people without a purpose, all the while you were the arm, the legs, the fingers of a greater movement. The eye sees, the ears hear, the feet walk..Each was set apart that we would function to raise up mankind in motion, dont you see it, to raise up our spirits to flee from the things that bring cancer to our lives. God made order, a very specific order..not a set of rules to follow or religiosity but a path that would walk us with vision, peace and order.. To avoid the things we post in our current events and talk about in class so that we're not numb to the anesthetic they want to 'inject into the veins of our civilization', as Martin Luther said years ago.

If you take from the body its muscular system, it does not stand. If you take from the body its respiratory system, it does not breathe. Without a respiratory system, there is no circulatory system. Without one, there is none. "Order". So what happens to a people who as the book of judges says 'everyone did as he saw fit', they perish morally and spiritually. Strength is in unity and when a people divide from the common body system to follow their own desires and do as they see fit, we corrode in the form of hopelessness, violence, divorce, homosexuality, polygamy, mutilation, racism, poverty, sound like class? In a loud voice the lord once shouted "i am not willing that anyone should perish..you are my desired ones...i lay before you life and death..choose for yourself, me" And because we are a body functioning for the greater body, in what way could we all be on the same plane and still have different functions if not for the head, which is God? "



And in an instance of difference:

Author: Steven L Stoll Posted on: 7-27-10
"oh my...are we in church or college Michael? I think we're in college and we are here to learn how the world really is, and to explore scientific evidence, not opinion and superstition. I'm sorry if our discussion disappoints you or "depresses" you. You can reject the truth and bury yourself in any beliefs you desire, but we will continue to explore human society as it really is.

Sorry to have made you so unhappy,

Prof. Stoll"


ZING!


The day after Professor Stoll was taking roll; When he got to Michael's name, who was in class, Michael said nothing - I'm pretty sure he just wasn't paying attention, or didn't hear him, because he was intently going over notes and reading ( I sat next to him in class) - but when Michael didn't say "here" Professor Stoll chuckled to himself and said, "Chicken?"


POW! 


This rose my brow. And I laughed inside.

I Don't Know.

I was thinking today and all that gadabout commotion concerning who we are, is really getting annoying. Like we can't decipher any difference anymore. There are people you like, people you don't like, people who make you feel uncomfortable and people who no matter how bad the situation is make you feel that smile on the inside and you get all tingly. Like drinking champagne that goes down with that Coca-Cola feel without the burning afterward that makes you ever wonder why you chugged that two liter to impress the girl who followed you around all night but never had the courage to say, "I like you."
I don't know...
But in the midst of all that champagne tingliness, I started thinking  about people who cry after sex. Don't ask me why my mind even crossed this path because to tell you the truth I don't know either. But who out there cries after sex? Are there people who sit and judge other people on whether or not they think they could be a person who cries after sex..  Like the Hanes commercials where the two women sit and in a multiple choice kinda way of doing things say, "Boxers" or "Briefs", so stereotypical. To which Kevin Bacon or Michael Jordan always seems to be present when things like this happen and says, "They're Hanes."
Are there people who sit down and pluck out people they see and say to themselves, "Yes," "No," "God no," and "..eh." Then I started thinking about the 'Eh's' in everyone's life. If we sent all of the people we thought were 'Eh's' to an island, would we miss them? Then I thought "What if.." Nothing else just that phrase, "What if.." As if I'd find something to attach to the end of it, but I'd hoped to do so pretty soon because wondering what it was I what if is really starting to make me think of things I either wouldn't normally think about or don't want to think about, which isn't too bad I guess.. But then I started thinking about why I couldn't think like this when peer editing and topic decisions in high school and college were mandatory and figured from right then that I was doomed to a never ending cycle of, hate to say, "Topic Changes."
But in the event of doing this I began craving a bowl of cereal to which I sat and stared at the pantry with some great intent that the bowl of cereal would actually fix itself. Which wasn't good because then I thought about what it would be like to have powers like that and well I don't wanna go any further..
I don't know...
It all seemed greatly intriguing when I was thinking about it at the time.
Maybe I'm just thinking too hard.. or not enough. Either way, people worry too much about who they are when they've got so much else to think about within the span of four minutes and thirty six seconds, which was how long this Alanis Morrisette song was that I, come to think of, want to listen to again..
Look the point is..  Stop thinking about who you are and start thinking about...
I don't know..
Something other than what your unseen panel of hipster judges deemed a "fashion nightmare" or what your Clairemont Debonair says is "In." I don't even think that's a real magazine, look...  We've got a lot more time to think about who we are when we're not thinking about who they want us to be.
That's all I'm saying. I don't know..
But, come to think of it.. What else are we gonna do with our time if we're not thinking about who we're wearing.. or whether or not who we are wearing is considered acceptable.. There's just.. too much to think about to stop thinking about it and think..
Hmm. I don't know..